Posture again

"Stand up and be a man." "Walk with your head held high." These and other phrases in our culture, old-fashioned though they may be, speak of the psychological aspect of posture. They were usually aimed at men, especially soldiers. And I'm sure what I'm writing today applies to many men.

But for women, as I said in the last post, walking erectly, head back, chest out, has been discouraged. I thought it had changed from eons ago when I was young, but even today I see younger women walking with their heads down and I feel sad. Once she has been belittled enough, teased enough, assaulted verbally or physically enough, she will hang her head like a guilty dog. Do you remember "You should be *ashamed* of yourself!" And you are, posture reflecting it.

So claiming straight posture, the way we were created to be, speaks volumes about how we view ourselves, as God's beautiful creations, as individuals worthy of respect, as clear-eyed visionaries looking the world straight in the eye and saying "I'm here, flaws and all; I'm worthwhile; I'm part of this adventure called life; I offer my gifts and my love."

Posture

As I was growing up, I well remember my mother telling me to sit up straight, walk with shoulders back, belly held in, breasts not protruding. Of course she would never have used the word breasts! We had a whole list of dos and don'ts related to how a respectable young lady should carry herself. Of course it is also impossible to do. If you put your shoulders back, you stick out in front, right? I'm writing about this today because on my two daily walks with Tessa, I practice body awareness and good posture. When I'm conscious of it, I do try to straighten my body, but when engaged in conversation or focused elsewhere, I know I slouch and let that belly hang.

The thing is, the way we were taught isn't natural. The spinal column isn't straight. It's sort of straight at the head and neck, then curves forward between the shoulders, then straightens out again. And so, the natural way of standing is to allow the shoulders to relax(down but not in) and to let the sternum (chest) fall forward. If you practice the head back, chest forward, shoulders down posture, the rest of you seems to fall into place. And it's actually comfortable.

Now, girls, that means your boobs are going to stick out. Face it. Everyone in the human race has breasts. Women's are more utilitarian and comforting. Why we are so hung up in this culture on "showing them" or "not showing them" has always been a mystery to me.

Beneath our breasts lie our hearts, the centers of compassion and love. So let your heart lead your body; "see" life through your heart. When you literally envision that you are seeing through your heart, you will find things striking you differently. You will savor and appreciate what you sense in a deeper way. You will feel better and be a more relaxed and beautiful dwelling place for God.

Breath Prayer

Today I want to share the concept of "breath prayer", a way of prayer "without ceasing" which has deeply affected my relationship with God and the living out of that. This needn't supplant your other prayer or spiritual practices, but offers a powerful foundation for your life in God. If you aren't a "pray-er", indulge me for a few minutes. :)

Sit quietly for a few minutes, breathing slowly and deeply, settling into the depths of yourself, with the intention to listen for the Spirit to give you the prayer you most need just now. ("The Spirit prays within us...") Picture God, in whatever image you use, being before you, calling you by name, and asking "__________, what do you want?" Allow yourself to open to that question. Do you want healing? peace? openness of mind and heart? Freedom? Guidance? Choose a name by which you will address God, e.g. Dear Father, Creator, Holy One, Lord Jesus, etc. After your time with God, choose one petition, put the name with it, and repeat the phrase over and over as often as you think of it. It might be "Dear God, give me hope" or "Set me free, Lord Jesus" or "Spirit of Life, fill me" or "Show me Your way, O God". Mainly, keep the phrase short--4-8 syllables--so you can easily and rhythmically repeat it.

At first the prayer will "inhabit" your mouth. That is, you will have to verbally repeat it until you are really used to it. At length, it will "move" into your head, then drop into your heart, where it will almost pray itself with your breath. It is important to work with one phrase for a while, say a month, before leaving it for a different one. But when the time comes, the prayer will almost change itself, helping you to see what you *now* need most.

There is no need to match the prayer to your breathing. Just keep saying it, especially at times when you are waiting--for a train, in a line, going to sleep.Even though the petition may seem self-centered, you will be trusting the Holy Spirit to give you the prayer you need and it will empower you to be even more of a gift to those around you. When you get tired of repeating it to yourself, say it again and again.

I hope you'll give it a try, if you desire a deepened prayer life. Check out Romans 8 or II Thessalonians if you want Scriptural basis for this. If you are not Christian, perhaps your own holy writings will guide you. May you be blessed, today and always!

I got passionate and responded, loudly, to a negative remark at a meeting the other night. I thought I was defending those in charge who are working hard from the "let's be realistic" attitude of someone who hasn't been directly involved recently. He seemed OK with my remarks. We've known each other for years and have been part of many contentious meetings.

What troubles me is the perception that my "outburst" was seen as negative and helped to end the meeting on a less than upbeat note. I've experienced this reaction to my anger all my life. I don't understand it very well. People usually experience me as friendly, humorous, warm, even gentle. So is that why it's such a "surprise" when I actually express a vociferous opinion? Some people speak bluntly and loudly and don't seem to get that reaction. Handling anger appropriately is a challenge to all of us; hence the state of the world.

I was never allowed to openly express it growing up, so I kept it in or took it out on doors, which I slammed violently. My mother used to call that "wooden swearing", so even that action wasn't approved of. I have always been fearful of any sort of conflict.

In my "new life" as an older person and a widow, I find I care less what people think, and I carry a fair (or unfair) amount of anger, so I express myself openly more often. I think it is healthy, even though I know it can also be hurtful, even destructive. So while I'm sorry I have offended others, I'm also pleased that I finally have the courage to use my voice without so much fear. Once again, the challenge, I know, is to find a balance. And that I will continue to be aware of. I ask God's help in that effort. But I also rejoice that I can speak over my fear and work through the responses to that voice!

Peace be with us all and have a safe celebration of our country's birth!