Why must my upper arms be flabby and look all wrinkled and bumpy? This is of utmost importance to me today. Because there's nothing else in all of creation to be concerned about, is there? Oh, well, I suppose a few impending disasters. But how could any of those put me into such a snit as seeing how the new clothes I tried on yesterday showed those ugly old arms? And I feel sure I'm the only 68 year old woman in the world who looks this way. :)
It's almost that bad and that sad. I'm disgusted with myself--for caring, for letting my arms get that way, for allowing my ego to be so easily distracted, for having the audacity to think I am a fairly spiritually deep person. Huh! Nope. Just a human being, darn it. I wanted to be perfect; I needed to be perfect. Otherwise no one would love me, right?
And even though I thoroughly believe God loves me, why do I still fear people don't? From the outside view, many would say I am successful and popular, even beloved by some. But stand in a women's clothing store looking at my less than perfect image in the mirror and I fall off into a pit of self-contempt. Well, it's humbling. It truly is.
So I have no wisdom or piety to offer today. Just an admission that I take two steps forward and one step back, like everyone else. But then, when I think of it, that sounds like a dance, doesn't it?
Maybe life really is a dance, eh?
Hope I can just manage to stay upright.
Oh and by the way, the bird in the porch light nest is a robin!!!
Carol, you are beautiful, outside and in! Never think otherwise.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, you always manage to voice things that I'm feeling. I look at how fat I've become and think that how I look makes me unloveable. Now, I have to revise that thinking, because I see you and so many other's in my life that seem to think the same way and yet, I love you and those other's very much. I don't see what's on the outside, only what's on the inside.
ReplyDeleteYou are loved! You are beautiful!
Diane
Me,too! You've got to love the dance!
ReplyDelete