Gerald May wrote an important book several years ago called "Addiction and Grace", in which he pointed out how all of us have addictions and that all of them are means to deal with, or avoid dealing with, the struggles of living, the unanswered questions about meaning and "what's it all about, Alfy?", the restlessness of our souls and on and on.
Well, I know I'm addicted to the Internet, especially to emails. I have written thousands of words to friends and family over the past 10 years or so--millions, is more like it. Today I noticed I hadn't emptied my deleted folder for a couple of days and there were already well over 200 emails in it. That doesn't count the 20 or so other folders which hold the many that I've saved, for whatever reason.
I was excited when I discovered the library at Ghost Ranch was now wireless, so I could use my laptop online. And of course there's Facebook, which offers everything from complete drivel to really important news and views. It increases my awareness of some things, but I waste too much time there. Not to mention the frustrations of using it, as its "rulers" keep changing things.
So the book I'm writing is going to ponder that question, among many. Why are we so starved for company and companionship and someone to listen to us? Why are we so needy? Why when we say we're so busy do we find time to spend online? What is missing?
And why, with all these means of "communication" at our fingertips are we doing less real communicating than ever before? Most organizations that I'm aware of suffer from too many instances of "a flurry of emails". Someone says or doesn't say something; someone does or doesn't do something and the fur begins to fly. Emails trip over one another as they enter inboxes and outboxes. The leaders tear their hair and the organization suffers!
I've had more "fights" with people I love since email than I had in the previous 50 years. In some cases, the outcome was healthy, but lots of times we clearly weren't on the same page and damage was done, for the most part unintentionally.
I am grateful for email and the internet, but I am also concerned that we use these tools carefully, with respect, with forethought, with restraint, with compassion and understanding.
Carrie Newcomer (www.carrienewcomer.com) is one of the best writers and musicians around these days. One of her songs is called "Don't Push Send." Yes!!
Let's bring our hearts and spirits into our internet use, just as we try to do with other relating. Maybe we could be more prayerful--that is centered, calm, open-minded and open-hearted, when we approach our computers. Maybe we could pray to be free of addiction, of grasping at this incredibly powerful medium to satisfy our unmet needs. At any rate, that's what I intend to do--one day at a time and with God's help.
One of the things I like about email is that it isn't as obtrusive as the telephone. When you call someone, you don't know what you are interrupting. When you send an email, it waits till it is convenient for the recipient to open it. I like to do my emailing at the end of the day, when I'm too tired to do anything else. I consider it a reward for a busy and productive day. :)
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