Here kitty, kitty, kitty

Today I'm suffering as a result of my own stupidity. That ever happen to you? No? I don't believe you! Anyway, my cats, Willie and Nellie, have a habit of meowing at the back door, loudly, steadily, in the evening, wanting to go outside. Do I know they shouldn't go out? Yes, of course I do. They don't even have collars or tags. Do I let them out, anyway? Of course I do. And they always come back, at least by early morning. Except today. Nellie came in, but Willie didn't. So I'm worried, sad, guilty, because I'm responsible for everything that goes on in this home. Feeling sorry for myself because I AM the only one. Wondering if I will ever get used to being a widow.

I've let this book writing thing overwhelm me. I receive good advice; kind and encouraging words. They are all well meant and I appreciate them. I'm grateful to have friends and relatives who care. But in the end, I know I'm alone with God in this and "we" have to work it out together. I have no doubt of God's presence and desire to help, but I sometimes doubt my ability or even willingness to allow that. No matter what we "know" in our heads, the gut thing is still extremely potent. And, whatever "the devil" is, I do believe that when something good is offered, there is often a struggle, right within the person,(in this case, me) between those good and evil forces. I trust the good will win in the end. I really do. But I'm not enjoying this battle one bit!

May your "better angels" prevail today, along with mine. Especially on this day of Prayer for Peace, I long for all to be well in this troubled world. And for Willie to come home where he belongs!

Ah, Mary!

Here is a quote from Mary Travers' obituary in today's NYTimes: In 1970, after releasing the greatest-hits album “Ten Years Together,” the group disbanded. Ms. Travers embarked on a solo career, with limited success, releasing five albums in the 1970s. The first, “Mary” (1971), was the most successful, followed by “Morning Glory” (1972), “All My Choices” (1973), “Circles” (1974) and “It’s in Everyone of Us” (1978).

Did you know that Mary had a solo career? I can't find one Youtube clip of her wonderful single work. Songs such as "It's in Every One of Us", "Flying on a Single Wing", and many other songs of social justice and the struggle of women are on these albums. I'm grateful to have CDs of them all and I salute Mary Travers as a woman who could stand alone. Though we all loved Peter, Paul and Mary, I honor her as a solid solo voice whose work touched my heart and head over many years.

The sorrow those in my generation feel today is partly, I feel sure, because we are again reminded that we are near the end of our days of contributing to this world. And we are reminded, too, and rejoice in the hope, that what we've tried to do in a positive way, will be carried on by the next and the next and the next. May it be so!

Fruitfulness

I went to the Allen Street Farmers' Market Wednesday afternoon. I think about going every week, but somehow 2:30 Wednesday comes and goes and I don't get there. It is a friendly place, with folk music playing, a variety of vendors, often with children helping, selling their goods. The color, the smells, the laughter, and variety of freshly grown food, is appealing to every sense. I spent a few dollars and am enjoying a lovely autumn banquet of cut flowers, fresh carrots, green beans, tomatoes, parsley, green onions, peaches, plus potatoes from a friend's garden. I devoured that very day a large sweet potato muffin filled liberally with raisins and walnuts. Mmmm, good!

This was in preparation, in part, for the arrival of my sister today. We'll spend the weekend together and being farm girls originally, we'll enjoy all these good fruits and vegetables as we reminisce over the abundance with which we grew up.

We're also going to visit another part of the state where we will pay homage at the grave of our beloved maternal grandmother, visit the village in which she raised our mother and four other children in a tiny little house, and find her father's grave in a nearby town. He is the only great-grandparent we know much about and was a Civil War hero.

The earth is fruitful; our ancestors were fruitful. And it all points toward our being fruitful, as well, in whatever ways God has gifted us. We owe it to share those gifts liberally with the earth, with our selves and other people, with and through our magnificent Creator.

May you show forth fruit in your life today and every day!

Bee stings

I'm naive enough to believe that if you don't bother bees they won't bother you. And besides, I haven't been stung more than a few times in my whole life--until now. How about THREE in less than two weeks?!

I've been aware that bees are living in and around a bag of yard waste in the carport. I've not bothered them; they've not bothered me. And though I'd been warned, I continued to believe we were friends. Then one evening as Tessa and I returned from a walk, one got caught in my sandal strap and OUCH--top of foot hurts like heck. Used ice, anti-itch ointment, etc.

Just about the time that one was going away, I'm sitting perfectly innocently in the courtyard of Soup to Nutz Bistro when another bee liked the looks of my thigh through those lovely white slacks. Zzzttt! Again I was hurting and this one caused a bruise and LOTS of rash and itching. That was Wednesday. It still isn't healed completely.

Yesterday I foolishly turned on the outside water faucet right where they were gathered and another one got me--at the base of a thumb. I think this one hurts the most and today is swollen and itchy, driving me crazy in spite of anti-itch cream. So much for my benign theory about bees. I know they are crucial to the eco-system, but after the third sting I went for the Raid. Not that it really did them all in, but I felt better, anyway. I mean, gee whiz, The Secret Life of Bees is one of my favorite books.

So on the basis of a night of often interrupted sleep due to severe itching, I chose to stay home from church today. I'm sorry, God, but I trust You understand. Life is full of bee stings and I'm just grateful I don't violently react to most of them. May your days be mostly sting-free!