THE THING IS

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it,
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, how long can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

Ellen Bass

OK, OK

ALL RIGHT, I ADMIT IT. I REALLY *DID* WANT TO WIN!! :))

Now there will definitely be no more blogs about Woman of the Year.

Women of the Year

I promise those readers who know me well, I won't write again about this event.

It was my great honor Wednesday evening to celebrate with others being one of ten finalists in the Greater Lansing Woman magazine's Woman of the Year event. It's been on my mind for over two months, since I first learned of the distinction. Since then, I've been interviewed at length, photographed at home, photographed formally, met with the other finalists and judges (last year's finalists), received lots of compliments from friends and acquaintances, and waited for the finale. Many people who greatly deserve honor, never receive it. And part of my reaction was a sense of unworthiness and embarrassment, as well as pleasure that a dear friend nominated me and that many others celebrated with me.

When I was young, I was in a couple of "beauty" contests and I loved the attention and approval. Now in my older years, and having a recognizable husband and daughter, the "spotlight" is not so desirable and while it may look like fun and glamor, even a small amount of "fame" is something of a burden.

I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I was recognized. I'm glad I have people who love and support me. I would have been just as thrilled to have most of the women in my life up on that stage, for they are representative of all the beautiful people whose daily gifts and giving often go unrecognized. Thank God, God "notices" them all!!

Thanksgiving and Wonderment

There is always so much for which to be grateful. A 19 year old has successful heart surgery; my sister has successful foot surgery; the dog's leg is better and she's not moping;the neighborhood is lush with flowers, trees, bushes, grass and weeds;I'm going to dinner at the home of old and dear friends; and I had energy and motivation today, something that is not always right there waiting for me each morning. Oh, and besides that, I can breathe, walk, talk, use all five senses, think, and on we go. Yes, if we choose to, we can never run out of blessings for which to give thanks to God. And yet, among the many tragedies of each day, dear friends are heartbroken over the untreatable cancer of their 40-something dear friend, almost son, husband and father of two young boys. How to be grateful in the midst of that agony?!

Tomorrow evening I will attend a banquet as one of 10 finalists in the Greater Lansing Woman of the Year event, sponsored by the Lansing State Journal's GLWoman magazine. It will be quite an evening, I'm sure. My daughter, plus eight good friends, are coming to support me. I have pondered how I feel about this honor: embarrassed, unworthy, grateful, humble, excited, among other feelings. Whenever something momentous happens in my life, there is always the accompanying sadness that Norris is not here to share it. In this case, he would be particularly proud and pleased. I hope his spirit is aware of it. So much of who I am and what I have contributed to the community is because of his love and encouragement. So thank you, Norris, yet again. And I hope I will be able to conduct myself in a gracious and humble manner that would please God and you. So much to give thanks for; so much to wonder about; so much mystery; so much love!