Not sure what title to put on things tonight. I have been sad and feeling overwhelmed all day. Even picked a fight with my daughter when she came over to help me with the yard.
Wish I could think of some obvious reason for this anguish. I know I'm in grief over many losses, especially my life partner. And I know I'm worried about all the chaos and fear and loss whirling around in Michigan and elsewhere.
I talked with my spiritual director today and she helped me recognize some of what might be "ailing" me. One thing I know for sure is that I've been neglecting my prayer/meditation discipline, which, like any other kind of exercise, needs to be practiced with regularity. Here I am, someone who espouses a prayerful way of life and yet find it difficult just now to face into my relationship with God in a truly vulnerable way.
I take on too many relationships, which I try to nurture, but can't keep up with. Feel like I'm always letting someone, or more than one someone, down. So when my daughter came to help, I lit into her--probably because we are so close. She held her own, thankfully, and within a few minutes we were hugging and saying we were sorry.
That outburst and her forgiving arms were probably what I needed most today. Just someone to understand and be willing to listen and care. I miss that so much!
And what does this have to do with your life, dear reader? I don't know. It's just what I needed to say tonight. Thanks to you for listening (reading)!
Know that you are loved, dear friend, and will be held in the hearts of the community gathered this week to journey in sandtray. It is not a coincidence that your picture this evening is a sand world! It has blessed me this evening. The group has been moving through grief and loss to places of healing, refreshment, rest and joy, releasing our defenses into the flow and cycle of life so that the blessings can come running. It seems that we must just be in the place of sadness for a time and we are learning that that is ok. Know that I am beside you there and that you are part of the group gathered here. We are all connected and part of the whole as we travel.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Millie
It's always darkest before the dawn
ReplyDeletewhen your world is weary,
when all is dark,
when dreams die and fade away,
and all of life is stark,
take heart in gentle love,
for she waits in the wings,
and where she walks,
fairies dance and angels sing,
though you cannot see her,
she weaves a silken touch,
leaving footprints in the sand,
sprinkling spells and such,
lighting the dampened corridors,
the dark corners of your mind,
leaving you breathless,
bewildered by her kind,
goodness glints in her eyes,
hope is in her arms,
and all you've ever dreamed of,
rests sweetly in her charms.
--J. Blagojevic