Starting again

As I begin this "new beginning", I've decided to re-read old posts and share a few.  This is the first one I wrote in the fall of 2008.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Welcome!

Welcome to "Prayer, Play and Politics"! Other words come to mind: paradox, pontificate, percolate, pet peeves, punctuation, purpose...I expect this blog to contain examples of all of the above and more. Since this is my first posting, I can't say where it will go, but I hope a few folks will check it out from time to time and give me some feedback. I'm happy for you to share it with others in your life as you see fit.

Having been involved in matters of the Spirit for most of my life, though not always "within the box", I've decided to share some of the thoughts, perhaps wisdom, of my 65 years, as befits a modern-day crone!

I've learned a lot from animals, including the three who currently share my home: Tessa, the little dog; Nellie, the sleek black cat, and Willie, a young, large tiger cat and the only male in the house. Nellie preceded the other two and has had to adjust. She and Willie, who used to compete and fight, are now allies in the struggle for use of my home, against an 11# dog, who in 3 months of residence, has kept both cats in the basement most of the time. The cats have claws; they are larger than she is; and there are two of them. Still, when Tessa lunges ferociously to the head of the stairs, they run for dear life.

Sometimes we are afraid of people and things which, in fact, have very little power over us. Only in our heads do they loom large--that person who might break into the house or rape you in the night or act in some manner you see as inappropriate or get some of your share of the goodies. The fear of those persons (or groups, or religions, or government systems) is often an illusion, which we perpetuate by our decisions, attitudes, life style, or loud barking. Funny thing! Tessa doesn't have the claws!

Until next time, thanks for reading. Breathe, listen, look, participate and love!

How long has it been?  Almost two years!!  I hadn't posted here for so long I couldn't even remember the blog's name clearly and had to Google myself!

Why resurrect it now?  It's time to say what I think and feel, if not for you out there, at least for myself and my family.  Time to express my deep concerns, as well as my fervent hope for the future.  Time to be creative, a little bit humorous, share more spiritually.

Granted, you have so much to read online, especially with Facebook and other social media of which I know nothing, you probably aren't thirsting for more "wisdom".  

Yet I sense a deep inner nudge.  So after long resistance, I am willing to see if there is any new wine in this old wineskin.  That is, after all, what we are called to do, is it not?  To be willing?  Who knows how able, but at least willing to allow the Spirit to do something, anything, that might be what only I can offer, that might be blessing to someone somewhere.  When I'm gone, when you're gone, there will never be another like you or me. I am increasingly aware that I definitely WILL be gone one day. I'm learning to accept that and I best offer what I can while I can, for better or worse.

I re-designed the blog before I started this writing. The font I chose?  Unkempt.  For some reason, I really liked the sound of that and it looked nice, too.  If I ever find I have forgotten how to be unkempt, I'll change it.

That's enough for a new beginning.  I trust there will be more.

Don't forget to laugh, love and listen!

Finding our Place

I've been visiting Robert in Santa Fe for the past three weeks and will be here three more weeks.  Santa Fe and New Mexico in general, are intriguing, unique and very different from the culture I lived in for 68 years.  I can say I'm starting to get used to it and yet, I also feel a bit of a stranger here.

What is it about place that is so significant to our beings?  For 10 years Ghost Ranch, just a short drive north of here, has been a "sacred place" for me.  There I have been inspired, affirmed, and challenged by God's manifestation in countless forms.  On the surface, I don't feel like it "fit" there.  I am not a hiker, an outdoors person, a fan of Georgia O'Keefe.  The land is strange, rather foreboding, and one is struck with how very "old" it is.  In 2000, when my friend, Kathy Swearingen, first encouraged me to send a teaching proposal to the Ranch, which is a 21,000 acre camp and conference center, I could not imagine they would be interested in my offerings.  I had to figure out what to even offer.  Eventually, I proposed "Abloom in the Desert: A Retreat for Women", which was accepted for 2002 and which I repeated four years in a row.  What a thrill it was to spend a week with incredible women from around the country, to assist them (and myself) in growing more aware of God's Presence--within, in relationships, in community, in the earth, and in the world.

I returned in 2007, taking a year off when Norris died, to be a worship leader and peripatetic spiritual director/friend to whomever I encountered.  In '08, I spent the month of April at Casa del Sol, the spiritual center for the ranch, as a resident spiritual director, and bonded with beautiful people with whom I still have contact.  Then came another opportunity for leading.  In '09 and '10 I led co-ed retreats at Casa del Sol in which we explored finding our home, our dwelling place, in God.

The time has come!

It's definitely time to write.  No apologies.  I'll just get right into it.

In a few months, I will be moving to Santa Fe, NM, to make a home with Robert!  We are both excited and committed and scared.  What a thing to do at our stage of life.  And yet, it has become more and more clear  that we want to make a life together, not just "drop in" on one another's existing lives.

This became most clear in June when we endured the horror and grief of the death of my dear niece, Laurie.
How we could have done it without Robert's gentle but strong support, I really don't know.  He became more than my love; he became part of the family.

And so now I'm leaving them.  Or so it feels.  I can rationalize all over the place about phones and emails and Facetime and visits.  The fact remains, however, that things will never be the same again.  I am choosing to leave my daughter, who means the world to me, my friends, the church, the community in which I've been active for almost 50 years,  the state in which I have dwelt for 70 years.  It's a hell of a lot to let go of and some days it feels just dreadful.

I am going to a new place with a "new" person, with whom I share the deepest spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual ties.  We both sense God's call to this union.  Maybe someday we'll even make it legal! There is a sense of great adventure and opportunity; a chance to start over in some ways, while retaining that which is truly important.

The witness I want to make in this post is that we are trusting in the One who is in all things, but contained by no thing--the One who loves us and guides us and accepts us as we are; the One who blesses abundantly and invites us to bless as reflections of that One!  We place our hope and trust in God in spite of the darkness of this world, in spite of the relatively short time we have left on this earth.  We are taking a stand for Love in all its wonder and depth and power.

Your prayers and blessings will be most appreciated!

Breathe, listen and love!