And then I looked up!

And there it was! Birds had built their nest on my porch light.
I know. It happens all the time. But not to me!

For several days I wondered why all this long dead grass was decorating the front porch. I assumed it had blown there. Twice I swept the porch and before I knew it, there was all that stuff again. Even as I write, it sounds like I was pretty dumb, or to be nicer about it, unaware. But, finally, I looked up and there it was! I can't see into the nest, of course, but I have caught sight of a bird whipping past my kitchen window. Can't identify it yet, though my guess is it's a house sparrow.

This comes at a time when I have been particularly drawn to birds, especially the eagles in Decorah, Iowa, where a live web cam allows me to be a "peeping Carol" whenever I want to. I witnessed the 3rd eaglet as it opened its egg and have watched with delight as the parents carefully nurture these three less-than-beautiful children. Seeing them, it's hard to believe they will grow into the magnificent birds their parents embody. At the site, I learned that these eagles mate for life; that their former nest was destroyed by a storm in '07; that this 5-6' wide and deep nest is 80' up in a tree. I've watched the parents trade off: one on the nest, the other out hunting. Of course some of the unfortunate hunted look yucky as the eagles rip them to shreds, but this is the way of nature. I learned that on the farm as a child. Sometimes the nest looks pretty bloody and messy, but in no time the parents have cleaned house and all looks fine again.

Meanwhile, at Fenner Nature Center, kids from a local school class are spending the week experiencing something called Annie's BIG Nature Lesson.
From their website, here is the Mission of ABNL:
The mission of Annie's BIG Nature Lesson is to immerse children, teachers, and parents in the beauty and wonder of the natural world; to engage them in authentic scientific investigations by observing the local ecology, drawing and writing; to nurture citizens who value and protect natural resources; and to build a school-community partnership that inspires responsible environmental stewardship.

And so while I was there yesterday, I talked with the Director, Margaret Holtschlag. We soon discovered that she had known my late husband, Norris, for whom a special fund for nature education is named at Fenner. She told me of how she had encountered him once out in the park somewhere, taking pictures, of course. She didn't remember the conversation, but said she'd never forget the look on his face. It communicated beyond words his passion for nature and photography. Oh yes, my husband, the contemplative--the one I used to think wasn't very "spiritual". Needless to say, Margaret and I quickly bonded.

I was helping with data entry for Bill Earl's Fishing Event, something collaborative instigated by a good friend of the late Bill Earl, who loved fishing. On three consecutive Saturdays in May, 50 kids each time, at three locations, will be taught how to fish and given a free fishing pole. Each event is nearly full. It was fun to see how the kids are coming from outlying communities, as well as Lansing, how there are lots of girls signed up, as well as boys. There was a set of triplets even!

Well, how does all this hang together? I'm not sure.
I'll leave that for you to ponder, dear reader.

I give thanks for rain, though I am mighty tired of it.

Remember to breathe, look, laugh & love!

Spring by Mary Oliver

At this time of life, I find poetry often expresses the inexpressible longings in my soul. A friend just sent me the following Mary Oliver poem. Somehow it says enough for today.

May you allow New Life to fill your soul, dear reader!

Spring

Somewhere
a black bear
has just risen from sleep
and is staring

down the mountain.
All night
in the brisk and shallow restlessness
of early spring

I think of her,
her four black fists
flicking the gravel,
her tongue

like a red fire
touching the grass,
the cold water.
There is only one question:

how to love this world.
I think of her
rising
like a black and leafy ledge

to sharpen her claws against
the silence
of the trees.
Whatever else

my life is
with its poems
and its music
and its cities,

it is also this dazzling darkness
coming
down the mountain,
breathing and tasting;

all day I think of her –
her white teeth,
her wordlessness,
her perfect love.


- Mary Oliver

Looking out the window this morning, it is difficult to feel cheerful. It is dark, gloomy, wet, muddy, cold, and rather ugly. And besides, now that the snow has melted, I have a back yard richly decorated with dog turds. Even the dog doesn't like to walk out there!

Of course this means SPRING!!! And for that, I can feel very cheerful indeed. New life is bursting forth, in spite of the ugly weather. In the yard, crocuses (or is it croci?), daffodils, and hyacinths are displaying their leaves. It is a miracle. This is my 68th spring (or is it 69th?) and I am still startled and surprised. What is happening? Will there be leaves on the trees again? I've forgotten how that looks. Can I go outdoors without a coat and boots again? I've forgotten how that feels.

A number of loved ones have opted for a reprieve in warmer climes, not having to look at all this, at least for a few days. And I understand. I would like to join them. And yet, and yet...even without that respite in the south, I intend to celebrate and appreciate as best I can. "The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof."

Mother Earth has been restless of late. I think she's angry and who can blame her? We humans, so arrogant and insistent on having our own way, are reminded, violently, that "mother" is in charge. It shakes us deeply, it breaks our hearts, it takes lives, it ruins lives, it changes everything. No matter how much I desire the loveliness and beauty of spring, the earth will do what it is meant to do, whether I like it or not. So today, at least, I choose to like it, mud, turds and all.

To date or not to date: that is the question.

Sorry I haven't written in so long. Guess it was all that pea soup that did it! Actually, the ongoing pain in my mouth is a big factor. Turns out it may be neuralgia, since the dentist can find no cause or cure for it. Acupuncture next.

Anyway, I got crazy this week and signed up for a couple of online dating services, something I never thought I would do. Not only that, I also committed to working several hours a week at Fenner Nature Center. So I could be dealing with slime either place, don't you think?

This week I did the animal care, which involves feeding, watering, cleaning tanks, and bathing certain ones. The feeding is the really fun part: the green frog gets 10 live crickets; the snapping turtle gets two live earthworms, the garter snake gets four, etc. With some guidance, I bathed two box turtles and the poor little garter snake, who hates the bath, but has an infection in her touche (did you know they had one?) and has to be bathed daily. I had never handled this type of animal, though I grew up on a farm and have some "tolerance" for the realities of life. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it and how quickly I began to feel affection for these strange creatures.

Then I was asked to go through a large scrapbook, choosing articles about past maple syrup events. Most of the photos were taken by my late husband, who was a fixture at Fenner anyway, and so it was a bit of a sad journey, but good.

Which leads to the other thing: men. There is only one man in my life whom I feel truly drawn to, but he lives very far away and it appears we don't have a future. So, I'm trying to be brave and see who is out there, preferably someone a little closer geographically. I must admit it's kind of fun answering the questions, as well as reading about some of the men.

Lent is fast approaching, so do you think I should give up anything? I'd gladly give up this constant pain, of course, but perhaps it is teaching me something. I've agreed to lead four discussions, a quiet day and do a book review, all in March. Oy! I may have to give up men for a while longer!

Meanwhile, I pray for my seriously ill niece-in-law and for all the precious ones who are trying to find freedom and some sort of equality, be it in the Middle East, around the globe, or right here in America.

And I'm learning to be grateful--every day, trying to continue the "flow" of blessing. May it flow to you, as well.