In which we speak of. . .whatever

One of my favorite songs in musical theatre is "Adelaide's Lament" from "Guys and Dolls". Near the end she sings, "With the sneezes and the wheezes and a sinus that really a pip; with a lack of community property and a feeling she's getting too old, a person (pronounce "poison") can develop a bad, bad cold!"

Well, I have developed one and I don't think it's the same problem Adelaide had, although....Hmmm. Guess I won't go any further with this.

So I've been inside, except for dog outings, three days straight. Lots of time to read and rest and blow my nose and think and get a bit zooey. In the hospital, patients sometimes get that way after many days of "incarceration". I mean really "zooey". I think I'm mostly sane--so far.

The weather here fits my mood--dark and soggy. I know it will improve and so will I; just part of the process of living. So no deep spiritual or political insights today, friends. Actually, I don't have those many days, but just wanted to let you who read know I'm still here and I'm still grateful and I'm still smiling. I hope you are, too.

Thank you, Mom and Dad!

Wow! Today is my birth day, or more accurately, it WAS my birth day, 66 years ago, in Adrian, Michigan. As I heard the story just a few years ago, Dad was sure twins were enough, even if they WERE girls.:) But Mother wanted another child and finally convinced him, I suppose hoping she could give him a son.

I'm finally old enough that I really can almost imagine my parents making love. I always figured they did it twice--and got three girls out of it. But I under-estimated, don't you think? :)

I never had any sense that they were disappointed with my gender; only that I was rather a nuisance and frequently in the way. Parents say and do so many things, don't we, that our kids notice and misinterpret. I think it's inevitable.

Well, I'm grateful to my parents for making love, for assisting God in creating the one and only "me", for working so hard to make it possible for me to thrive, for quietly letting me go when it was time, for letting me love them more and more visibly as they neared the ends of their lives. And for so much more!

This has truly been a blessed time. In the past few days, everyone I feel close to has been in touch one way or another. I've had songs, cards, emails, lunches, gifts, Facebook entries, hugs, phone calls, flowers, and so much love. I had almost no expectations for this birthday, but as the Spirit would have it, it has been most memorable. And perhaps the pain of being without Norris is a bit less than the last three birthdays. I feel his love and care surrounding me somehow. And his/our daughter, for whom I am ever grateful, personifies that love to me every day.

Thanks for reading! Thanks for life! Thanks for love-making!

Changing the Lens

Sometimes in life it helps to "change the lens" on one's world-view camera. Lenses range all the way from microscopes to telescopes and everything in between--showing broader or narrower views. Last night, quite by accident (I thought), I looked through a different lens. Someone asked me if I would serve as a speech judge for something called the Academic Decathlon. It was just a couple of hours on a Monday night, so why not?

This is a wonderful program designed to encourage academic excellence in a variety of areas. Each school has a team of nine students: 3 must get A's; 3 must get B's; and 3 must get C's or under. Very creative here. So two of us were put in a classroom and we listened to 8 prepared speeches of 4 minutes each, plus an impromptu speech of 1 1/2 minutes. I was the timekeeper and each of us had to score them on various aspects of their presentation.

Well, what a mix of kids and topics! What a cross-section of America! We had 2 black males,
2 white males, 2 white girls, 1 black girl, and 1 Vietnamese-American girl. They were 9-12 graders. We weren't told their age or their school. So here they came, one at a time, pretty much scared to death, to stand in front of these two "judges". I was so impressed with their courage and efforts.

Some speeches were more intellectual and well thought out, some were clever, some were poignant. I remember talks about citizen involvement in a democracy, why drug rep lunches are a good thing, the way music video games demean "real" music, why lipo-suction is a bad thing, why Walmart is a bad company, what creatures from another planet might experience when visiting earth. and then there were the other two. An extremely nervous young man told the deeply personal story of how his dad "took" his sister away when he was a little boy and how he and his mom have never seen her since. And the young woman who lives with her legally blind mother, has been in trouble with the law, detests the rest of her family, and the plans she has for the future, including becoming a tatoo artist, a cop, a district attorney, and a judge. And how she never wants to get married or have children.

Well, I wanted to take them all home with me! Doubt I was a very harsh judge, as I felt sympathy for each one; respect and admiration, too. But my partner and I consulted and we tried to do a fair job. I was reminded that 40+ years ago I was the speech and drama teacher at a local junior high school and what a heart-rending job it was sometimes. I lasted two years. I marvel at teachers who never give up. Maybe that's partly because of kids like the ones I met last night. Good, scared, awkward, sensitive kids! Kids that renew my hope for the future! I am grateful for the chance to change the lens once again!

Keep breathing deeply, friends. All shall be well.

Good and faithful servant

Early this morning, a good man died. He was 78 years old, had an abundant life in most respects, was married to his high school sweetheart for 58 years. They raised four children, have eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. His wife and I have been close friends for almost 30 years. And because of that, he became my friend, as well. When my husband lay dying in our living room, they came, together, many times to see us, just to be, with us. I'm sure he hated having to see Norris that way, but he did it.

He was a large taciturn sort of guy, with a wicked, and I mean wicked, sense of humor. It took me years to figure out that behind that stern face and gruff voice, he was teasing. The two of them traveled extensively, partly because his work as a top-flight meeting manager (AMA, etc.) took him all over the world. Yet he was as down to earth as they come. He weathered years of family members' addictions , hanging in there even when he was depressed and weary. After he retired, he became a fine potter and I treasure the several pieces he gave to me.

He was a devoted Lutheran and served God and the church in many ways. Just as Norris did, he donated his body to the MSU medical school, to assist students in learning anatomy--a most worthy final act on this earth.

I am grateful for such dear friends and sad to see him move on. But I do rejoice for him. " Well done, thou good and faithful servant." As his spouse wrote this morning, "God is good and that is enough." Amen.